Broken truth
by sixbynine
Summary: The war's been finished for a year now, and only now has Urahara allowed himself to stop and grieve for those they lost. He didn't want anyone to find him but what he thinks he wants and what he needs are two different things.


I have been struck by bleach fever!! XD i'm watching the musicals again xD

the last time i was in the bleach fandom almost a year ago i think...i didnt like urahara ichigo AT ALL, it kinda grossed me out XD but for some reason now i can't stay way from it! me thinks this is my new OTP XD

i've read a few excellent fics on fanfic that have good solid reactions from Ichigo's dad that i feel is far more realistic than the older fics i read that had him being far to accepting...

i think the new manga chapters are helping because lots of fics are coming out now with character death/post war plot lines that add a nice depth to the fics ^^ anyway enough rambling!

hope you enjoy!

this is totally the product of me being off work sick and trying to drown my cold in the sugary goodness of winegums XD

and if anyone has any links to GOOD urahara ichigo fanfics (not on fanfic . net) please PM me!!

EDIT: got confused with this and another fic i was working on and forgot who was dead and who wasn't :O XD all fixed now though.. ^^

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Ichigo hadn't exactly been looking for him, he hadn't gone out with the sole purpose of finding him, and certainly he would never admit that even subconsciously he had wanted to find him. Quite who else he was expecting to find at Urahara's shop is unclear, Ichigo will adamantly deny he even meant to go there. Regardless of intentions though when he eventually slid down the hatch into the underground training area and felt the faint trace of Urahara's reiatsu he had to admit, if only to himself, he was a tiny bit happy.

The two men had worked alongside each other, fighting side by side to protect the humans left in Karakura, one by one those around them had fallen until only himself and the blonde shopkeeper remained. For a long time afterwards Urahara was the only person Ichigo trusted to be near him, even now almost a full year after the end of the war Ichigo was still a little jumpy around unfamiliar people, he followed the reiatsu trace quickly and found Urahara sitting along on an outstretched rock and empty bottle of sake beside him, a full one just opened,

"You don't seem the type to drink alone" Ichigo remarked softly standing over the man

Urahara looked up at him "you don't seem the type to disturb a man who's drinking alone" he remarked turning back to the bottle

Ichigo sighed and sat down, Urahara had never had much alcohol tolerance and if those bottles were anything to go by he was drinking some of Ikkaku's home brew, which was well known around Seireitei for being able to bring even Zaraki to his knees

"This isn't healthy you know"

Urahara snorted, "sometimes I like to do stupid things" he said going to take another swig

Ichigo's hand stopped him and Urahara turned to glare at him "You better have brought enough to share" Ichigo brought the bottle to his lips, swallowing the bitter liquid, it was Ikkaku's alright

Urahara grinned and pulled back his overcoat to reveal another two bottles, Ichigo raised an eyebrow

"Trying to poison yourself?" he said

Urahara grunted opening another bottle "maybe, certainly seems like a good enough idea"

Ichigo frowned, never in the last almost three years had he seen Urahara even hint at being depressed, the man was annoying cheery all the time

"You know what today is Kurosaki-kun" it wasn't a question, Urahara knew Ichigo would never have forgotten today, the war ended, the day they turned and realised that out of 34 shinigami sent to hold back a small group of Espada and arrancar they were the only ones standing, the day that they watched Rukia die taking a sword meant to Urahara. The day they returned to Seireitei to report back on their success and return Rukia's body to her family, when they found out the assault team lead by Hisagi, Ishida and Byakuya had only one survivor and the Kuchiki heir was lying comatose in a makeshift hospital. In the days that followed they learnt that each team had been successful, but with a heavy price. Soi Fon had lost her arm, Byakuya was still recovering, Orihime would always bear the psychological scars of those days. Perhaps the greatest loss was Kenpachi, who had come back unharmed but alone. Yachiru had died protecting him, in the days that followed it became apparent the 11th Captain had simply lost the ability to live without his Lieutenant, watching the strong and powerful man fade away had been the hardest thing to see, at least with injuries you can treat them and make them better. But without Yachiru, Kenpachi just gave up.

"I know what today is" Ichigo said heavily

Urahara nodded "then you'll forgive me my out of character behaviour for just one day" there was the gentle mocking and sarcastic tone Ichigo was used to, but underneath a desperate note filled his voice, looking for Ichigo's permission, that it was ok to do this, that for one evening he didn't have to pretend to be strong.

Ichigo nodded tipping the bottle up to his mouth "I think for one evening we'll manage. Just don't take it out on me tomorrow when you can't move"

Urahara smiled softly "What makes you think you'll fare any better"

Ichigo snorted "I'm well versed in the practise of drinking to numb and forget"

"Ah, I always wondered where you went after more bad news came through"

"Renji's usually, but when Byakuya woke up and needed him I started heading out to Rukongai, any port in a storm" he smiled sardonically

"I never had the opportunity to drink with someone before" Urahara said after a moments silence Ichigo glanced at him sideways, the telltale faint pink stain on his cheeks telling him Urahara was passed tipsy and well on his way to utterly drunk. He took a large swig, he needed to be far more drunk than this to deal with Urahara spilling his heart

"I'm supposed to be above this, even Yoruichi and Isshin would never think to find me here" he looked away "That doesn't seem fair"

Ichigo grunted urging the man to go, if nothing else he was enjoying this other side of the usually irritating ex-shinigami

"I never got a chance to stop and grieve for anyone, always had to be carrying on and moving forward, a year!" he said waving the bottle about "they've been gone a year Ichigo and only now have I stopped to really think about it" his speech still impeccable

Ichigo ignored the use of his first name "no one expected you carry on as normal" he said turning to face Urahara

"Ah, but I had to didn't I? Who else was going to? Everywhere I look all I see is broken people, someone has to fix them"

For the first time Ichigo stopped and really looked at Urahara, it was easy to assume he meddled purely for the fun of meddling and Ichigo knew that at least half the time that was the reason. But looking at him now, crumpled robes, two empty bottles of sake and a face more suited to a lost child than a centuries old shinigami, Ichigo realised the blonde genuinely cared for those around him and single handedly shouldered the responsibility of helping them.

"You can't fix everyone Urahara-san" he said reaching over the grasp a solid shoulder

"But I can try" he looked up at Ichigo his face hard "most of it's my fault anyway, and no one else is going to try. Who else is left?"

Ichigo opened his mouth trying to think of a response, he closed it again, nothing he could think of would make sense or help,

"See, no answers Ichigo, no one has the answer" Urahara slid forward his full weight pushing Ichigo over as he landed cushioned on the red heads chest

"Mmm, you're warm Ichigo, warm and alive" a soft snore told Ichigo the man had fallen asleep face first in his chest, he rolled his eyes and lay back, the weight of Urahara was enough to keep his inebriated body pressed to the floor. Closing his eyes as he felt the false bright sky spin around him he slid off into an exhausted sleep the still half full sake bottle falling from his hand and rolling gently against the others.

The first thing Urahara became aware of after the pounding in his head was the warmth surrounding him, he was sure the last thing he remembered was going down to the training basement, so the warmth made no sense, there was no way in hell he would have managed to climb out of the training ground while drunk; one of the reasons he had chosen that place. He hoped it was simply his imagination and he'd gotten rather friendly with a rock during the night, bracing himself he cracked an eye. Soft black fabric greeted him and a rather flat chest informing him he had at least not slept with Yoruichi he moved slightly to get a better look at the face and felt arms tighten around him, choosing to ignore the odd sensation in his stomach he continued to peer up stopping stiffly as he recognised the shock of orange hair above his; Ichigo, he had slept with Ichigo,

"Shit" he braced himself of the ground and tried to push away

"Quit moving" Ichigo's sleepy voice rumbled through his chest and the arms draw him in closer. Urahara found himself hugged tightly against the younger man his head pillowed on the warm chest as fingers drew lazy circles on his back. The fingers stopped and the entire body tensed up, Urahara raised an eyebrow no matter how many lessons he gave this kid Ichigo was still as slow to catch on as ever,

"Urahara?" Curiously the arms didn't let up

"Kurosaki-kun"

Ichigo grunted and rolled over releasing him "how's your head?"

"Nothing a good shower won't cure" neither man sat up, neither one wanting to face the other

"Would you like me to leave?" Ichigo asked slowly

Urahara hesitated, he knew that Ichigo leaving and the both of them forgetting last night would be best, but if he faced himself honestly (something he tried to avoid as often as possible) he didn't want the young shinigami to leave, at the very least he was intrigued by the calm reaction Ichigo had to waking up in another mans arms. Ichigo scratched his head,

"Well I need a shower, and I don't want to walk home smelling of sweat and alcohol so if you don't mind I'll be borrowing yours" Ichigo turned and left before the shopkeeper had a chance to protest

Urahara stood and watched the boy, no man he corrected himself, walk away from him. Ichigo had always been very polite in Urahara's presence, never asking for anything never assuming anything. Something must have happened last night to give him the confidence and familiarity to demand a shower without asking. He looked at the area around them, it showed no signs of fighting or any rough play at all, the four empty sake bottles stared back at him and he groaned, he must have been utterly drunk when Ichigo found him and would have only continued drinking until it ran out. Sitting down on a rock he took a deep breath and began to assess the situation, he felt reasonably clean and his clothes were all in place, he certainly didn't feel like he'd had sex. Whilst that was certainly a relief he knew he had a tendency to act out of character and let his usually solid mask slip when he was drunk, one of the reasons he rarely drank-or drank alone. The last time he had gotten thoroughly drunk he had ended up spilling secrets to Yoruichi who still occasionally held that information over him as blackmail. He sighed, whatever had happened has happened, he at least trusted Ichigo enough not to blackmail him with whatever he had said. Stretching his closed his eyes against the invasive brightness and unsteadily made his way over to the hatch, hauling himself up and closing it again, there was no sound of a shower so Urahara could only assume Ichigo had finished and gone home. Blearily he stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the shower, looking around to see if he had any spare clothes in here grumbling to himself as he found the shelves empty he opened the a joining door to his bedroom and stopped, Ichigo had not left, Ichigo was currently standing in the middle of his bedroom wearing what looked a lot like his spare set of clothes and looking quite lost and confused,

"Kurosaki-kun?" Ichigo jumped and turned around looking guilty

"Ah, Urahara-san. I was looking for a pen"

Urahara pointed to the bedside table one eyebrow raised

"Well, uh, now you're here I don't really need it anymore" Ichigo had turned a shade of pink the even Urahara had to admit he found delightful "stupidly forgot I don't have a spare set of clothes here and I didn't want to put my dirty ones back on, figured you wouldn't mind if borrowed this and returned it tomorrow"

Urahara supposed that made sense, although he was again curious at the level of familiarity, he supposed Ichigo has been trying to escape unnoticed which indicated he wasn't totally happy with the situation "Not at all, you look rather fetching in them anyway" he smiled in amusement and Ichigo flushed again

"Well, thank you, I'll return them tomorrow" he inclined his head and made to leave, Urahara was surprised by the intensity of his dislike for this idea, deciding without thinking he reached out the grab the red heads arm,

"At least stay for breakfast, I seem to have somewhat inconvenienced you with my mood last night"

Ichigo looked at him suspiciously, Urahara never offered free food "I'm not going to repeat anything if that's what you're worried about"

Urahara shook his head, ignoring the flare of relief "Think of it as an apology"

Ichigo sat down on the bed and sighed "Urahara, you don't need to look after me or apologise for last night. If you want to know what happened then just ask me, don't play games"

Urahara frowned, Ichigo was more perceptive than he remembered "very well, allow me to shower and we shall talk, Kurosaki-kun"

Ichigo nodded and stood before turning, hesitating slightly "Ichigo" he said quietly "that's my name"

He turned and left padding downstairs to wait in the front room

Urahara stood still for a long time, trying to work out what that meant, Ichigo had never objected to the formality before, he frowned, he was beginning to think that while whatever happened last night ahdn't been sexual it had certainly opened up another level of intimacy between them. Worried he stepped into the shower, whatever he had said last night had not been secret information he was withholding for the sake of it, or because it was convenient to. It had been more, personal, private, even when drunk Urahara never revealed anything about himself to anyone, although he had to admit, if it were going to be anyone Ichigo would be the one he trusted the most. They had spent almost two years being each other's protection, he felt closer to the human than to anyone else. Frowning he stepped out of the shower, drying roughly and slinging on a robe, Ichigo was currently wearing his favourite set of 'house' clothes, not that he minded, he hadn't been lying when he said the man looked fetching in them. Walking downstairs silently he noted with pride Ichigo's reiatsu was tightly reined in, Ichigo only losing control on small amount of it,

"Ichigo" he said complying with the mans request unconsciously

"Urahara-san"

He paused at the name, suddenly it felt very wrong "If you're going to insist I use your given name then the same applies to you"

Ichigo nodded "Kisuke" the name rolled of his tongue and Urahara suppressed a shudder

He sat down and faced the red head "I believe you have some things to tell me"

Ichigo snorted lightly "don't talk to me like a child, if you want something ask for it"

"Very well, Ichigo. Seeming as I find my memory somewhat lacking please fill me in on any details"

"We didn't have sex" Ichigo was blunt, one of the traits Urahara admitted about the human, perhaps though someone should teach him the art of subtly "I know you're worried you took advantage of me or something, but you didn't. If anything I took advantage of you"

Urahara raised an eyebrow, it was hard to imagine someone taking advantage of him "so now we've established what didn't happen, let's try and explain what did happen"

Ichigo sighed and stood up "drop the mask Kisuke, stop acting so false" he walked closer, Urahara's chest clenched, it was becoming more and more apparent what particular aspect of himself he had revealed

"Don't" he said backing away as Ichigo drew closer,

"Don't what? Behave like this? Do you want me to pretend? Act like everything is the same?" Ichigo's voice held the mocking tone Urahara was used to giving, now he understood why people around him found him so frustrating

"Don't use this against me, whatever I told you"

Ichigo shook his head "I think you're misunderstanding" he backed off "I would never use anything against you, I trust you more than anyone and I like to think that works both ways."

Urahara relaxed slightly again, he knew Ichigo would never use anything against him, but hearing it confirmed made it better somehow

Ichigo stepped closer again "Kisuke, let me fix you" he whispered and the blonde's breath hitched in his throat as hazy memories began to seep back into his mind, his thought's cut off as a pair of chapped lips pressed against his clumsily.

"Kurosaki-kun" Urahara shot backwards trying to distance himself

Ichigo sighed and looked away "apologies Urahara-san, it seems I misread you and overstepped the line" he turned to leave

"Ichigo"

He turned back

"I'm sorry, you surprised me" he scratched his head "this isn't the shy boy I'm used to" he grinned

Ichigo laughed softly "truth be told I'm still a little drunk, I woke up about an hour before you and finished off the sake"

Urahra raised an eyebrow "well that certainly explains a few things, although not why you were still wrapped around me an hour later"

Ichigo blushed and looked away "listen carefully old man, I'm only going to say this once and I ask you to have some respect and take me seriously, I know who you really are so don't go pulling any of that high and mighty shit you do with everyone else"

Urahara looked at him in shock, he decided Ichigo on alcohol was an Ichigo he defiantly approved of,

"When I woke up this morning, for the first time in a year I didn't wake screaming, I didn't see her face in my sleep, I didn't have to force myself to open my eyes and acknowledge another day. I woke up and I saw you, and for the first time I just felt peaceful, happy. I didn't want to ever let that feeling go, I didn't want to ever let you go" he jabbed a finger at Urahara, his brow furrowed "I don't really get it, maybe it's always been there but I don't want to go back to sleepless nights, and I don't think you do either" he stared at Urahara waiting for a response

Urahara stared back "Ichigo…" for perhaps the first time in his life he found himself speechless "I don't think this is healthy" he said finally "you're barely an adult, you don't know me, not really"

"But I do, you're very talkative when you're drunk, and even a few sentences's showed me a lot" he pressed a finger into Urahara's chest and the blond wondered when he had got so close "You care far more than you let people know, and sometimes when you're alone and there's nothing to let you avoid looking at yourself, you know you're tired of the façade, of constantly being the person everyone else looks too"

"You got all that from one drunken conversation?"

Ichigo growled at him "no, I've spent two years fighting alongside you and even longer than that being trained by you, you think I don't notice anything?"

"Well you're are rather dense"

Ichigo jabbed him in the chest again "don't change the subject"

Urahara sighed "even so, you're my best friend's son and a human teenager at that"

"I don't care, you know as well as I do I'm about as far from being a human teenager as you can get" he sighed "As for my father, well, I don't care I'm tired of this, I'm so sick of being surrounded by people who will never understand, I've been with plenty of people over the last few years, and they all pull the same pitying look and treat me like I'm damaged"

Urahara was somewhat surprised at this revelation; he had always assumed Ichigo was far too shy for any sort of relationship, let alone many indiscriminate ones. Ichigo stepped closer, invading his space again,

"Kisuke…"

Urahara snapped he rushed forward to meet Ichigo's lips, pale arms coming up to tug the teen in closer the already loose robes falling apart more revealing tanned and pale skin alike, Urahara groaned, flushing slightly with embarrassment at the sound,

"Kisuke" a hand reached up to cup the slightly stubbled jaw "I don't care anymore, I'm tired of living for the sake of it. You have always been the person I could rely on, that won't ever change and now I think you could be the person I live for"

"It's not good to live for someone else Ichigo"

Ichigo rested his head on Urahara's shoulder "what else do we have left?" he whispered barely audible

And Urahara pulled him in tighter finally struck by the realisation that Ichigo was no longer a child, that the man who was holding him just as tightly was quite possibly the only person who could truly understand and relate to him, he buried his nose on the orange locks, "nothing" he said quietly "but maybe that could change" he tipped Ichigo's head slightly, the red head being only half an inch shorter than him "you're right" he said finally "you do know me, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to see you" surprised at how easy it was to bare himself to Ichigo he continued, feeling all the pressure lift of him "waking up in your arms, well, it was odd and a surprise but I don't want to wake up alone again. I'm not saying I love you, because that would be a lie, but I do trust you, and I want to share the rest of me with you"

Ichigo nodded "then I won't tell you I love you either, it wouldn't be right"

"Love isn't the most important thing, Ichigo. Maybe if it's right eventually it'll come"

Ichigo nodded "in the meantime…" he trailed off fingers coming to rest just inside the open robe teasing lightly

Urahara pressed his lips into Ichigo's nibbling lightly on them, Ichigo moaned, hand disappearing into Urahara's robe pushing it off entirely leaving him in the just the pyjama pants he had pulled on. Urahara closed his eyes breathing heavily as Ichigo's fingers scratched lightly at the exposed skin, playing hesitantly with the hem of his pants, silently asking permission. Urahara leant forward, Isshin could kill him later, right now he wanted nothing more than to sink into the warm aura that was Ichigo, to lose himself completely in this vibrant, rough human. He sunk his hands into his trousers that Ichigo was wearing, tickling the skin of Ichigo's thighs. Ichigo took that as permission and pushed past the barrier of Urahara's pyjama's groaning into his shoulder as he sunk his fingers the muscles there,

"Kisuke" Ichigo breathed into his neck, teeth clamping down lightly as he sucked softly on the skin leaving it pink

"Ichi…" Urahara's head moved backward thumping the wall lightly Ichigo smiled against his neck

"Got you incoherent already?"

Urahara laughed softly bringing his hands up to push the robe over Ichigo's shoulders and off, Ichigo let go to shrug it off, the soft material pooling on the floor, he glanced around briefly,

"As arousing at it would be to do this in your kitchen, having slept on a rock all night I'd rather not" he tugged at the waist band of Urahara's pants "I think I can remember where your room is" he grinned

Urahara followed wordlessly, enjoying the feeling of being lead, in all previous relationships he had very much been the dominant party, he felt a stab of arousal flood through him at the thought of Ichigo dominating him, he found himself pressed against the wall, he grinned as he realised they were still only halfway to his room,

"We'll never make it to my room if you keep getting distracted"

"It's your own fault for being so distracting" Ichigo murmured slipping his leg in between Urahara's pushing against the hardness there and groaning as he felt the hard muscles of Urahara's leg between his "Shit" he sunk his teeth into the soft skin on Urahara's shoulder, the older man tensing underneath him and crying out tinged slightly with pain

"Ichigo!" his hands found the hem of Ichigo's pants and pushed them over the slim hips watching as they fell silently to the floor, Ichigo stepped back slightly freeing his feet from the material, unashamed of his nudity, Urahara's eyes raked over the form hungrily taking in every inch from the bright soft hair, down the well muscled chest and dusting of pale hair that lead to his hard and leaking arousal. Urahara eyed it, he had had several relationships with men over the last few centuries and in none of them had he ever been inclined to engage in anything other than the mutual pleasure of a good lay. But now looking at Ichigo he wanted nothing more than to drop to his knees and taste him, his eyes flicked up to the honey brown eyes his tongue darting out to lick his lip, Ichigo groaned at the sights and leant forward capturing those lips and tasting the tongue, Urahara decided, today was already an oddity in his otherwise ordered life he may as well go all out, sliding down the wall he knelt at Ichigo's feet,

"Kisuke?" Ichigo questioned him even as his hands threaded into soft blonde hair

"Let me" he whispered hoarsely not trusting himself to voice his reasoning his tongue darting out to taste the tip catching the small beads there

Ichigo groaned and tried not to thrust into his mouth, something about the tentative, nervous movements told him this was new and unfamiliar territory for the shop keeper, however as the warmth of Urahara's mouth enveloped him, the rough tongue pressing against the sensitive skin, Ichigo noted he was a quick learner. His hands tightened on the soft hair as Urahara's tongue and mouth sped up and his hands crept up his legs to knead at his muscles, short nails scratching just slightly

"'Suke…" Ichigo tugged on Urahara's hair urgently pulling the man to his feet and kissing him hungrily, his hands pushing urgently at the pants still tied securely around his waist "If you carry on, we won't make it to the bedroom" he grinned untying the cord and letting the pants fall to the floor, eyeing Urahara unashamedly with lustful eyes

Urahara smiled, he would never admit it but part of him had been worried Ichigo had not wanted him to continue because of his lack of experience, it was not often Urahara found something he did not understand or know and he was loathe to admit it, even to his orange haired lover. Ichigo was tugging him towards the closed door of his bedroom,

"Kisuke" his eyes had darkened "We're going in here, and I'm going to taste you" Ichigo paused running a finger down Urahara's chest "I'm going to feel every inch of your skin, find every sensitive spot you have and then I'm going to fuck you" the last part was murmured and if it hadn't been for the almost painful stab of arousal Urahara would have smiled at the nervousness underlying that statement. As it was the blunt declaration turned him on more than anything else Ichigo could have done, his breath caught in his throat and he reached in nipping at Ichigo's lips,

"If I had heard that dirty mouth of yours before now, we'd have been here a long time ago" he murmured pushing Ichigo through the door

"Remind me to swear at you more often if this is the reaction I get" he replied grinning before grabbing Urahara's arms and, true to his word, threw him onto the large bed Urahara had before following him at a slow crawl until he was hovering level over him his lips trailing down the exposed chest, nipping gently here and there, licking around pale nipples before moving southwards licking the slight sheen of sweat from the toned abdomen before finally reaching out to lick the tip or Urahara's arousal, amused when the hips bucked up, he moved his hands down to the crook of Urahara's knees gently pushing them up and apart exposing the blonde to Ichigo's eyes, eyes still locked onto Urahara's he ran his tongue down the length of his arousal before taking it entirely into his mouth, Urahara watched as he disappeared into the red heads mouth, moaning as his head fell back against the pillow. It shot back up again as he felt the warmth leave him and move further down, a soft wet tongue pressing insistently at his entrance ,

"Ichigo…" Urahara wasn't sure if he wanted him to continue or not, the pleasure warring with his initial distaste

Ichigo ignored him and pressed in deeper slightly stretching him out before sitting up and reaching over to the nightstand table and opening a drawer, Urahara felt the question of how Ichigo knew where his lube was could wait,

"I guess you've not done this before" Ichigo said coating his fingers

Urahara coloured "I've never felt comfortable enough to let anyone close enough" he said quietly

"I can't help but feel a little happy at that" Ichigo grinned and Urahara returned it amused at how ever like this, spread out for all to see this man still made him feel comfortable "at the very least I suppose I should warn you it'll hurt a bit"

Urahara levelled a look at him "just because I've not been on the receiving end before doesn't mean I know nothing about it"

Ichigo grinned and lowered himself over the man again "I would never be so rude as to insinuate your knowledge was lacking in any aspect"

Urahara opened his mouth to respond only to stop as one finger slid slowly inside him, the slick coolness taking him by surprise, it was unusual, not entirely unpleasant and then Ichigo slid in another finger and the sting of them stretching him shot up his spine and as Ichigo crooked his fingers he cried out arching off the bed, Ichigo smiled,

"Like that?"

Urahara nodded, not trusting his voice to talk, Ichigo smiled kissing him gently as his finger carried on pushing deeper and moving apart

"Ichigo" Urahara's voice was shaky but undeniable, the man was tired with waiting

Ichigo drew his fingers out and quickly coated his hard arousal, feeling it twitch in anticipation, he settled himself between the pale legs and slowly pushed in stopping to allow Urahara to get used to the intrusion, the blonde was breathing heavily his chest moving up and down rapidly as Ichigo kissed him softly in distraction,

"Ichigo move, before I hurt you"

Ichigo grinned "impatient bastard" he murmured complying with the demand, he knew at this point neither was going to last long and he moved slowly, trying to make it last as long as possible

Urahara grinned as Ichigo began thrusting, moving his hips to meet Ichigo's he wrapped his arms around the skinny boy drawing himself up his face pressing into the sweaty shoulder as he sped up teeth sinking into Ichigo's neck as he arched forward his climax spilling between them as his entire body tightened. Ichigo cried out, part in pain from Urahara's sharp teeth and part in pleasure as the man's body tightened around him setting him off. Ichigo panted leaning forward and lowering them both onto the cool sheets, still firmly inside Urahara he relaxed his head on the man chest breathing deeply,

"I don't think I ever want to move again" he said smiling against the pale chest

Urahara laughed the rumbling travelling through Ichigo's jaw "I don't think I _can_ move again"

Ichigo nibbled at the jaw above him, moving off of him and using one of the sheets to gently clean them before throwing it onto the floor and moving to wrap his arms around the blonde, Urahara sighed, twining his legs with Ichigo's as he pressed his head into the hollow of his neck, seemingly made for him,

"Look what you made me do, going back to bed in the middle of the day" he murmured smiling

"It's not the middle of the day, I'll assume you didn't check the time when we left the training grounds" Urahara shook his head slightly

"We slept through the day, it was about 5 in the evening when we left, so I'd say it's about 8 or 9 now not such a bad time to be in bed"

"Mmm, I wouldn't want to move anyway" came the sleepy reply and Ichigo smiled he'd been under the impression yesterday that he would never get the opportunity to see Urahara at his most honest again but apparently post-coital was just as good as drunk for Urahara

"Do I get breakfast again when we wake up"

"Ichi, you may have whatever you like" Urahara was practically passed out

"May take you up on that offer later" he murmured running a hand through the blonde locks tucked under his chin. He pulled the cover over them and snuggled down wrapping his arm around the man and slowly drifting off.

For the second time that in two days Urahara woke feeling relaxed and wrapped up in warmth, this time he smiled as he remembered the evening before, he noted he was still tucked securely against Ichigo's chest and oddly this submissive position didn't bother him in the slightest. The steady even breathing told him Ichigo was still asleep and he took full advantage of that to peer up and watch the relaxed boy sleeping, the expression on his face so different from the usual frown, he smiled as one eye cracked open,

"Ugh, go back to sleep Kisuke, it's early" Ichigo groaned sleepily

Urahara looked at the clock quickly, it was nowhere near early "It's almost lunchtime Ichigo"

Ichigo sighed turning and burying his face in the pillow, rolling half onto the other man "I'm to comfy"

Urahara smiled against the warm chest pressed against his face "I know, but people will start to think we've died if we hole up here for too long"

That go his attention, Ichigo sat bolt upright "my dad" he said clambering out of the bed "I told him I'd be home in a couple hours, that was like two days ago or something stupid"

Urahara swung his legs out of the bed and followed Ichigo into the bathroom "I'm sure Isshin knows you're fine, he can sense reiatsu after all"

Ichigo slowed slightly "I suppose, still I should go home before he comes looking for me"

Urahara paused as he felt something strange in his house, "I think it may too late for that Ichigo" he murmured as he pin pointed the disturbance "Isshin is sitting in the kitchen, I gather from the fact I can easily sense him he is upset" Urahara sighed "we should shower quickly and go and talk to him before he comes up here looking for us"

Ichigo sighed "today started so well"

"This would have happened anyway, sooner or later, personally sooner is better at least this way we've not lied to him at any point"

Ichigo nodded stepping into the shower "true" not really needing to clean to thoroughly he washed quickly and rinsed off stepping out the shower,

"I've still got no clothes though"

"You'll have to wear something of mine again" he walked towards the cupboards pulling out two sets of loose trousers and yukata tops , throwing one to Ichigo he quickly slipped the other on,

Ichigo pulled a face "I was hoping to enjoy a nice long shower with you" he grinned wickedly, tongue darting out to lick at his lip

Urahara stared at it before gently reaching over and kissing him softly, his hands twining into the thin strands of hair on his neck "maybe later" he whispered

Ichigo shuddered, his eyes raking over the harsh red marks he had left on Urahara's skin he bent over slightly running his teeth along one, Urahara shuddered pressing up into him,

"If you carry on doing that, we'll never get downstairs"

"Fine by me" Ichigo murmured his tongue gently salving over the mark

"You realise the only way your father could know about us was by sensing our reiatsu, and that he can easily sense you right now, well me to if I'm honest you have this talent for making me lose control of my reiatsu" Urahara's voice was vaguely amused, he honestly didn't care if Isshin knew exactly what they were doing, but he knew Ichigo would feel uncomfortable

"Che, way to kill the mood Kisuke" he grumbled pulling away "now every time I fuck you all I'll be able to think about is my dad watching us"

Urahara laughed "He can't sense us from anywhere outside a range of a few yards, I imagine he came over to ask if I'd seen you and discovered our reiatsu's tangled up in bed"

Ichigo sighed "sorta irrelevant now anyway, this isn't going to go so well I don't think"

Urahara sighed and turned leaving the room to walk downstairs, Ichigo following close behind,

"Ah, Good morning Isshin! What a nice surprise, you know you should call ahead if you're visiting I haven't had time to make any tea" Urahara smiled brightly moving about the kitchen with a false sense of cheer that Ichigo suddenly and irrationally wanted to rip out of him, instead he sat down at the table quietly as Isshin stood up his hands planted firmly on the table,

"Cut this shit out Kisuke, I'm not stupid and neither are you"

Urahara sighed and put the pot back on the hob "Mah, Isshin no time for small talk and some tea"

"Not when you've spent two days taking advantage of my son. I think that happens to be a little more important than tea" his voice was wavering with anger, and even Ichigo could feel the powerful reiatsu over flowing from his father's body

"Dad, don't blame this on him" Ichigo sat forward his brows furrowed together "Kisuke has done nothing wrong"

Isshin turned to him his face softening "You would think that, Ichigo. You don't have to defend him"

Ichigo glared at his father "why shouldn't I defend him?" he stood up facing the older man "what possible reason could I have for letting him get accused of taking advantage of me?"

"Ichigo, you're young I understand that, and the past few years have been hard on you, things are confusing and Urahara was someone familiar you trusted, that's ok. You're not going to get into trouble"

Ichigo stepped back away from his father shaking his head "hard?" he said "you think the past few years have been hard? Practically everyone I know is dead" he shouted, the last straw finally pushing him over the edge, there had been so many thing he had wanted to scream at his father for the past year as the man tried to understand him and failed on so many occasions "Don't you dare stand there and tell me you understand once more, don't treat me like a child. I haven't been a kid since I was 15, and you don't understand, there is no way you could. I don't remember you being by my side when Rukia fell, I don't remember you taking care of me after Ishida's death and I don't remember you being the one who sat with me to remember them" He glared at Isshin moving to stand by Urahara

"Ichigo…" Isshin moved around the table "this isn't the answer, a meaningless one night relationship with a man who should know better"

"Why are you so certain it's meaningless, Isshin" Urahara asked quietly eyeing the man carefully

Isshin narrowed his gaze on the blonde shopkeeper "I know you Urahara, I know the kind of man you are, the kind of man you have always been, you refuse to tie yourself to anyone, you're so closed and guarded so hell bent on being in control of everything, I'm sorry but I find it impossible to believe this is anything but another of your conquests"

Urahara smiled "I think you'll find it was not myself doing the conquest" his eyes flicked briefly to Ichigo who continued to glare defiantly at his father even as a slight blush worked its way up his cheeks

Isshin opened his mouth to fight back before processing the full meaning of the sentence and stopping

"Ahh, it seems you do indeed know me well old friend, you know me well enough to know not once have I ever relinquished the dominant position"

Isshin looked at the pair for a moment before leaning back on the table "do you love him?" he asked quietly

Urahara sighed "unfortunately it would appear that way"

Isshin shook his head

"Why is it so hard to imagine I wanted this?" Ichigo asked quietly

"You're 19, I hardly expected your first choice of partner to be a friend of mine old enough to have seen your great grandmother born"

Ichig snorted "why do you assume he was my first? I've been away from home a long time, the funny thing about spending everyday walking on the edge of death is the things it makes you long for, the feel of someone else's flesh, anyone else's, to wake up just once and feel protected and held, just to feel alive. I am not a child, I've been with enough people to know the difference between a desperate fuck and something deeper" his eyes hardened

Isshin looked at him, smiling slightly "I really missed out on you growing up didn't I?"

"Funny how that happens when ignore what's right in front of you and hide-away" Ichigo said scathingly, he still hadn't fully forgiven Isshin for hiding his shinigami origins and refusing to help soul society

"I tried to be the best father I could"

Ichigo sighed his face softening "I know, but you need to realise you can't treat this normally, nothing about our family is normal, the rules don't apply. Sure if I was a regular 19 year old and you two were regular 40 something men I'd get your objections, but that's not how it works. You two aren't even alive and I'm barely human anymore"

Isshin nodded moving towards Ichigo "I guess I should have asked before jumping to conclusions, Kisuke has never been one for looking after others emotions, but I suppose the fact he even stood here and had the fight should have proven he was serious"

"Please feel free to talk about me as though I weren't here" Urahara was smiling one eyebrow raised

Isshin glared at him "If you hurt him, I'll track you down myself" he warned

Urahara nodded "duly noted, although I believe Ichigo himself may get there first"

Isshin grinned before turning to his son "the same applies to you, Kisuke is one of my best friends, I knew him before he was an insensitive arse and I know that under it all he's still the man I knew then"

"Isshin! Spreading horrible lies, that kind of thing can damage a man you know"

"Can it, Kisuke, you talk when your drunk remember?" Ichigo said grinning

"Hmm, it seems I have come up against a formidable team indeed with the Kurosaki family"

"Ichigo, I want you home for dinner tonight, your sisters are starting to get worried" he hesitated "bring this old man with you"

Urahara raised an eyebrow surprised before nodding "thank you"

Isshin grunted before walking out of the kitchen door and disappearing down the road muttering to himself.

"Well, that wasn't too bad" Ichigo said "certainly could have gone worse, although I would have preferred to keep my sex life away from my father"

"Mmm especially since it seems you've had such an active one"

"Is that jealously I hear?" Ichigo teased "you don't seem like the type"

"Love will do funny things to a man"

Ichigo stared at him for several seconds "you weren't just saying that for my father?"

"I would never lie about my feelings, not even for an easy life and to keep Isshin out of mine" he sighed and sat down "I know you said you didn't want to say it, and last night I felt the same. But I'm tired of lying to myself, the way I woke up this morning, the easy conversation and warmth…I know I don't want any of those things to change. I don't know if that's really love, but certainly for me it is"

Ichigo crept closer swinging his legs either side of Urahara's chair and seating himself in the blondes lap "I was beginning to think I was the only sappy one around here" he murmured as he dropped kisses along the stubbled jawline

Urahara sighed happily and he kissed back, teeth nipping lightly at the skin "Is that a confession I hear?" he asked grinning

Ichigo reddened "I suppose, if you insist old man" he sighed burying his face in Urahara's neck "If that's what love is then yes, I love you"

Urahara tightened his arms around the red head, this may not be perfect, this may not be normal, but it was what they had and it was more than enough.

"Mm Ichigo, who were these people you've been with to give you so much experience" Urahara asked keeping his tone light his nose still pressing into the junction of Ichigo's shoulder

Ichigo laughed "If you really insist on knowing, my first was Renji, on one of the first missions we were sent on, both of us came back heavily injured and wired up" he shrugged "it just happened, we used each other a lot over the months we both understood what the relationship was and demanded nothing more. After that, Byakuya once or twice mostly out of curiosity, Hitsugaya and I had quite a long relationship actually, he's much more of a child than he lets on, Hinamori's death shook him up a lot and I think he just needed someone to latch onto" Ichigo sat back thinking "come to think of it we stopped sleeping together shortly after he came to the real world and met Karin" Ichigo shook his head, not wanting to think about it "Ishida once, we were _very_ drunk and…"he trailed off looking away "the night before..that day…Rukia, it was almost like she knew, she said she didn't want to die without first feeling alive and then after that…" he shrugged "Kira, Ikakku, a few friends from back here, Hitsugaya once or twice"

"Jeez, were you trying to fuck your way through the Gotei 13?" Urahara asked amused "you almost match me"

Ichigo snorted slipping off his lap and pulling him to his feet "I enjoy the clarity that comes with a good fuck, for those brief seconds nothing else matters and everything makes sense, after the war ended properly I…" he looked away "I was disgusted with myself on some level, I haven't slept with anyone for almost a year, not until you, I never thought I would again, the act doesn't exactly hold fond memories"

"Well I think we have to change that" Urahara grinned tugging on the hand and pulling Ichigo upstairs "we never did get our shower together" he called over his shoulder

No, it wasn't perfect, it wasn't conventional; it was barely functional. But it was what they wanted…what they needed, and really that was all that mattered

* * *

Ugh urahara is a wee bit OOC....meh i didnt mean for him to come across so whiney and emotional...i jsut think that maybe underneath that sarcastic as shit mweddling exterior he secretly loving someone else taking control XD

(Also i love writing typical pairings backwards break the mold people!!)xd


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